I’m desperate to relight the desire in our marriage
DEAR DEIDRE: NO matter what I do I think that my husband dislikes my vagina.
He never wants to have sex any more and even when he does, it feels like he touches me for the minimum time he can get away with.
I’m 45, he is 49 and we have been married for 15 years.
We used to have such a good sex life – it was hard for him to keep his hands off me. But over the last few years, things have shifted and now he barely wants to be near me.
I’ve tried everything to relight our spark but when we get intimate it feels forced.
Even then he seems uninterested and never wants to touch me down there.
I’ve tried to bring it up many times but he shrugs me off and says I’m being silly.
All I want is to feel desired by him again, but I’m losing hope.
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DEIDRE SAYS: There is clearly something going on with your husband and I suspect that it has nothing to do with your vagina.
Hormonal and lifestyle changes can often cause your sex drive to fluctuate as you age, so it’s possible that he has lost interest in physical intimacy.
Find the courage to explain to him how you’ve been feeling. My support pack Different Sex Drives will help.
You may also benefit from some sex and relationship counselling. The College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (cosrt.org.uk) can help you contact reputable counsellors.
