I’ve been blindsided by love for my girlfriend
DEAR DEIDRE: Even though my girlfriend tells me that she wants me, she has a really hard time showing it.
She never makes any kind of effort and I’m wondering if this relationship has any future at all.
The last thing I want is to lose her but I feel like she’s giving me no choice.
I’m 35, she’s 45 and we’ve been together for ten months.
Looking back, I’m not sure that she has ever put much energy into our relationship. I think perhaps I’ve been so blinded by my feelings for her that I’ve never thought too much about it.
However, recently I’ve started to notice I’m always the one making dinner plans or buying her gifts and, while I enjoy doing it, I’ve realised how one-sided our relationship is.
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I can’t remember a time she has ever organised to see me or even so much as texted me first.
Recently I slaved away helping her organise a surprise birthday party for her mum but she didn’t even invite me.
Every day it feels like pulling teeth and I can’t understand why I’m not good enough for her.
I feel so low. Is there any hope for our relationship?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s clear your girlfriend doesn’t appreciate you and I wonder if she’s taking your relationship seriously at all.
While an age gap in a relationship doesn’t always cause problems, it does sound as if she is rather set in her ways and wants more of a casual relationship.
If you want to work on things, you need to have a serious chat with her and be clear about your needs.
My support pack Standing Up For Yourself will help you to get the message across.
Give yourself a time limit for her to change and if she doesn’t you should accept that perhaps this isn’t right for you.
