Pity for grieving boyfriend turned to rage when I learned about his sex secret
DEAR DEIDRE: FOR months my boyfriend led me to believe he was busy caring for his elderly mother – but she’s been dead all along and his lies were a front for him having sex with another woman, and living with her.
I’m heartbroken by his betrayal and can’t get my head around how he could lie like this.
I’m 58, he’s 60, we were together for seven years.
He was the first person I dated after my divorce and at the time I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to meet someone so amazing.
Over the years I saw his mum a handful of times but since she lived halfway across the country I never established much of a relationship with her.
This year her health took a turn for the worse so for the past few months my boyfriend had been constantly caring for her, or so I thought.
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One day I decided to drive up to surprise and support him. You can imagine the shock I had when another woman greeted me.
I stood with my mouth wide open as she explained my partner’s mother had moved into a care home and died the year before.
I drove home furious and confronted him as soon as he walked through the door.
At least he had the decency to admit his mother had been dead for months and he’d been using it all as a cover.
My heart has shattered and I don’t know how I can move on. What did I ever do to deserve this?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Wow, your partner was prepared to go to particularly conniving lengths to betray you.
Lying about the death of his mum was insensitive and cruel, it’s no wonder this has left you feeling hurt.
Nothing you did caused this, his actions are only a reflection of himself.
Practically, it’s time for you to decide what to do going forward.
He’s proven himself to be an unprincipled liar so rebuilding the trust will not be straight forward.
Unless you completely understand what went wrong and 100 per cent believe he is genuinely sorry, I would not recommend going back there.
My support pack, Cheating, Can You Get Over It? can help you decide if you have a chance.
If you find that this is too hard to overcome, my support pack Moving On will help you to pick up the pieces.
