Daughter won’t speak to me after I banned her from seeing boyfriend
DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE I banned my 15-year-old daughter from seeing her boyfriend, 17, she has stopped talking to me.
I never liked him but the moment I discovered they were having sex, I knew I had to put my foot down.
They had been at it in her bedroom after school as I don’t get home from work until 6pm.
I’m a single mum and had my daughter when I was only 19.
It was unbelievably tough and I’m desperate to protect her from ruining her life.
But she says I’m a hypocrite. After seeing messages between them, it was clear they had started sleeping together a couple of months ago.
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I confiscated her phone for a week which sent her over the edge.
She is still barging past me in the house and refuses to even look at me.
Even though I’ve told her, she can’t date him any more, I’m sure they are contacting each other again.
What can I do? All I want to do is keep her safe but I can’t get through to her at all.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: I understand your priority is keeping your daughter safe but unfortunately you’ve pushed her away.
It sounds likely they may still be in a relationship.
It is really concerning this older teen, someone who will have a lot more life experience than her at this stage, is having sex with her.
But you will be far more effective if she feels she can talk to you.
So take a deep breath, explain you only ever want to keep her from harm.
Tell her that you panicked and know you can’t realistically stop their relationship.
Also, in the eyes of the law, her boyfriend is having sex with a minor and could be prosecuted.
On a practical note, as upsetting as it is, it would be wise to discuss contraception with her.
If she isn’t well informed the outcome could be even worse.
Talk about how sometimes older people can take advantage of younger partners, controlling and manipulating them.
You could watch a show like C4 documentary, The Kidnap Of Angel Lynn, to help her understand and start to recognise any unhealthy patterns.
My support pack Underage Sex will help you both.
