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Parents arrange Christmas around my sister and I only hear of plans later

DEAR DEIDRE: IT has always been clear that my parents favour my sister, and the plans they’ve made for Christmas confirm this.

They always build their festive season, and summer holiday, around my sister.

I only hear about arrangements once it has all been decided.

I have spoken up about this but nobody listens and nothing changes.

I’m a 39-year-old woman. I have a partner who is 41 but we don’t live together.

For the third year in a row my parents have booked a stay in a posh hotel over Christmas, with my sister and her family.

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It is not dog-friendly, which means I can’t go because I can’t leave my two pups.

My parents always babysit my sister’s children but have never agreed to look after my dogs, despite me asking.

If I say anything they will downplay it and nothing will change.

DEIDRE SAYS: They may not be giving your sister preferential treatment intentionally.

It may simply be that they have more in common with her and can relate to her more, especially if she is similar to them.

We all have family whose company we find easier than others.

It doesn’t mean that they love her more than you.

Tell them you hope they will have a lovely time and suggest that next summer you can organise a stay in a cottage, where pets will be welcome.

Let them know you would like to see more of them.

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