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Dear Deidre

I’d like to watch my wife in bed with a bigger man

DEAR DEIDRE: My wife and I share the same fetish – we both like looking at porn featuring men with enormous penises.

But she has no idea I do this, nor does she realise that I know that she does too.

Now I’d like to watch her having sex with a very well-endowed man, but I don’t know how to bring it up.

We’ve been married for ten years. I’m 40 and she’s 39.

Our sex life has always been good but I still enjoy watching porn when she isn’t around.

Lately, I’ve become obsessed with videos featuring men with extremely large penises. I’m not sure how some of these men can walk, let alone find trousers to fit.

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I have never mentioned my interest to my wife. But the other day, I looked at her laptop history and, to my surprise, found she has watching some of the same videos as me.

At first I was a bit upset. I’m average-sized, and my wife has always said I’m enough for her, but then I realised that we had more in common than I thought — and this was a good thing.

I’d like her to experience a really large man, at least once in her life.
I know she would enjoy it.

And I’d like to watch, as it would be a huge turn-on for me. The problem is, bringing up the idea of fulfilling our shared fantasy is tricky.

I don’t know how she’ll react. Even if she wants to go ahead, how do we find a suitable man to join us?

Please can I have some guidance.

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

DEIDRE SAYS: First up, do be sure your wife hasn’t just been checking out what you’ve been watching for herself.

But even if you do share a fetish, that doesn’t mean translating it into practice is a wise move.

Often, extreme fantasies excite us precisely because they’re extreme.

In reality, having sex with a man with an oversized penis could cause your wife discomfort and pain even.

It could also make you very jealous and cause issues in your relationship.

Not to mention that finding such a man – outside of the porn industry – might well prove tricky.

Why not talk to your wife about your fantasies and ask her about hers. This can be a turn-on in itself.

You could also think about experimenting with sex toys, rather than getting another man involved.

Read my support pack, Sexual Fantasies And You.

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